An actual conversation that occured five minutes ago:
Setting: TMac is at her desk, drinking coffee and fixing a scene in her latest masterpiece. The German breezes by the doorway.
German: I was going to make breakfast.
Me: Okay. If you make it, will you also clean it up? (In my defense, we’re leaving in an hour to go golfing for the day.)
German: I didn’t want to clean it up, no.
(He gets a bonus point here for honesty.)
Me: So you want to make a big mess and you want me to clean it up, or you want to leave it for the day so I can clean it up later. This is what you’re saying.
German: Why are you making a big deal out of this?
Me: (Sighs and glances at the clock. I guess I’m done my morning edits.) I’d just like to know what I have to get done before we go.
He walks away and goes into our bedroom, angry. When he returns, he says the following.
German: Maybe it’s time you start using that progesterone cream again.
Dear readers, this cream he speaks of is for PMS. So what the German is in fact saying, is that unless I am willing to clean up after him without comment, I must be a seething, raging case of hormones.
Because I am, in fact, NOT a seething, raging case of hormones, I declined to respond or further engage. I find that when a man is accusing a woman of being hormonal, they’ve reached the final threshold that leads to either a full-on fight or a discussion that will end badly. There is nothing a woman can say when a man takes this stand that will not seem combative, emotional, or unreasonable.
He walked on, and is now happily banging away with pots and pans in the kitchen and singing to the radio.
I guess I’m cleaning it up.
Did you at least kick his cute butt on the links?